JudyGrupenhoff.com

By Judy Grupenhoff, MEd, NBC-HWC

If I were to tell you not to think about pink elephants, what would you think about? Pink elephants, right?
 And if I tell you not to think about your favorite food, what pops into your mind? Your favorite food.

This little exercise reveals something important about how our brains work: the more we try not to think about something, the more our nervous system keeps it front and center.

Why This Happens: The Neurobiology

Our brains are wired for survival. That means they’re constantly scanning for what’s important, relevant, or potentially threatening. When you tell yourself not to think about something, your brain has to create a representation of it first in order to suppress it.

This process happens in a few key places:

• Prefrontal cortex – the part of your brain that tries to direct attention and inhibit impulses. It’s like the “control center” that says, Don’t think about this.
• Default Mode Network – the brain’s background chatter system. The more you focus on suppression, the more this network brings the thought back, like a loop.
• Amygdala and stress circuits – if the thought feels emotionally charged (like food cravings, fears, or worries), the amygdala flags it as “important,” making it even harder to ignore.
  
  

Trying not to think about something is like shoving it into a closet and then holding the door shut. You can do it for a while, but it takes a lot of energy. And the more pressure you use to keep it locked away, the more force it seems to push back with.

The result? Thought suppression actually increases the frequency and intensity of the very thought you wanted to avoid. In other words: what we resist, persists.

So What Can We Do Instead?

Since resistance doesn’t work, we need different strategies—ones that work with our nervous system, not against it.

✅ Name it, don’t fight it.
 Acknowledging a thought (“I’m noticing a craving for chips”) reduces amygdala activation more effectively than suppression.

✅ Use curiosity.
 Ask “What’s my nervous system needing right now?" Are you tired, thirsty, bored? How can you solve the need without eating? Curiosity calms the survival brain and opens the door to choice.

✅ Redirect by getting moving.
Instead of trying not to think about something, move your body—a brisk walk, wall push-ups, or standing with your hands on your hips with shoulders back and chin up (pose like a super hero!) for 3 minutes. All of these can shift your neurobiology and your focus.  

✅ Soften with compassion.
 Remember: intrusive thoughts or cravings aren’t failures—they’re nervous system patterns. Meeting them with kindness reduces stress and breaks the cycle.

Want to learn more? Head over to the Learning Center. I have a short video course available that provides practical skills and audio recordings to support you in creating healthier nervous system habits.